Akin when you click on a great recipe and first must read about a blogger’s vacation to Aruba, some background must be shared. My name is Meg and I am the Vice President of Frogtown Fosters. As such you would not be off the mark to think that I have an abundance of kitten experience and knowledge. Frankly, my friends, I also thought that! I have rarely had times in my life that were not shared with friend of the feline persuasion. I had the fortune to be friends with Patti for over a year at this point as well! Like yeah, I knew it all! Right? WRONG!
I want to give you a very RAW look at what fostering neonates is all about. And let me be 100% honest, it isn’t a horror story. I haven’t felt like I put this much light into the world in a long time. I made a difference to 49 fosters over the course of seven months. That doesn’t mean it is easy, but it is rewarding as hell. So allow me to give you a list of first year foster lessons.
#1 – Poop. We talk about poop so much! So for these little guys poop is one of the best indicators of health. Guess what? Poop is weird. Like what color is it? Consistency? Smell? Location? Keep in mind for the little ones YOU are doing the job of stimulating them. Like you are the end all and be all of pee and poop. I can’t tell you how many conversations have to do with poop. I have two kids…like…I thought my days of discussing poopy matters were done, but alas…so much poop.
#2 – Bottle Feeding. Let’s talk scheduling! You a type B personality? Well, that isn’t going to work anymore. Friends, this is coming from a Type B. Now I have alarms on my phone for pretty much every God forsaken time of the night and day. Babies are babies, regardless if they are human or not. Depending on that kitten’s age they may very well need to be fed hourly…or every two hours…then every three hours. Let me tell you the BIG difference between getting 2 vs. getting 3 hours of sleep. Every time you can push back that feeding for one little hour you feel so much more refreshed.
#3 – Death. You will experience loss. You will lose one. Or two. Or, heaven forbid, one of them has something contagious, a whole litter. The first kitten I lost was not just a wake up in the morning and they were gone, he passed in my arms. I held him, rocked him, pet him, and sang to him while he left this world. And at that moment I just cried. I’m tearing up even writing down the experience again. Sometimes you know it is coming. Like fighting against the waves at the beach. You are throwing everything you have at a kitten to keep it going, but in your head you know that this will be a miracle if they survive. And then there are the times that there is NO warning and no obvious reason for this small creature to simply perish. (Obviously there is a “reason” just that we don’t know it) But fostering this VERY FRAGILE population can be as heart wrenching as it can be heart filling.
#4 – Meds. There are about 1000 flipping meds to give your kittens. And all the names sound the same. Invariably I will need to ask “What color is that one?” You need to track all these things VERY carefully. And guess what? Not every intake of kittens is the same. Some need this, some need that, some get URIs (upper respiratory infections) and need antibiotics. We are EXTREMELY lucky to have Lisa with us at Frogtown Fosters. She keeps track of who needs what and when and never gives me a hard time when I ask her “wait…what color is that one, and how many days, and what’s the dose??”
#5 – Maggots. Yeah, I said maggots. Hope you are ready for that can of worms. (Pun intended) You are a foster, so clearly these are kittens that need help, they are not being born in the best of conditions. They are found in trash piles, with abscesses, with umbilical cords still attached, with critters eating
them. There was more than one intake with maggots in their butts. More than one who I had to clean and squeeze an open wound. More than one with an injury. It’s your job to clean and patch them up and pour everything you have into their care.
#6 – People. You will hate them and love them all in the same day. Sometimes within the same hour. How could someone discard two litters of kittens in a bag and leave them to die? But then again, how can someone living paycheck to paycheck drop off some cans of kitten food? There is so much darkness, but it is always overwhelmed by the light. You are among the light. Your grinchy heart grows three sizes when a little kid holds their kitten for the first time as their face lights up. When a kitten that you nursed all night and loved and cared for finds their forever home everything you do is worth it. I can absolutely promise you that.
#7 – Fellowship. It takes a village. Frogtown Fosters has become a group of souls who I know I can count on for anything. Even if it doesn’t involve kittens at all. We share the load. Sitting together at someone’s kitchen table administering fluids to a badly dehydrated kitten can bring you closer than you may realize. We have built our community together and brought all our strengths and weaknesses to the table. And our differences? Well they work REALLY well together. Remember when I said I was a “Type B”? I need a “Type A” to keep me in line. I need someone who can make me giggle with glee simply by sharing a meme at the most opportune time. All those differences make us a greater whole.
#8 – Time. I am a wife. I am a mother of two. I am a full-time General Manager. I foster kittens. My plate is full. To give the best care to all these humans and animals that need you, you need to take care of yourself. Honestly, this is probably one of those lessons that sometimes hits you over the head so hard because you’re too late. I have a terrible habit of trying to save EVERYONE regardless of whether I not I should. And now, well into my 40s, I took on yet another responsibility. There will be nights where you’ve only slept a few hours, days when a foster passes in your arms, mornings when there isn’t enough coffee in the world, and it will be HARD. You will look like hell and your emotional well is empty. And you just have to fight through that. You have to power through.
#9 – Accolades. There isn’t a prize for the best foster. There isn’t a trophy. Not even a ribbon. Sometimes there isn’t even a pat on the back or a “good job”. Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them. But you have to also realize that is OK. You don’t have to be the hero to everyone else for the simple reason that you ARE a hero to every single animal that comes into your life for help.
So, does this list make you WANT to foster? Or does it make you want to RUN? Not everyone can foster this age group. Frankly, that’s OK. It is an emotional rollercoaster and if you don’t have a strong wonderful team by your side, an impossible one. All that being said never in my life has something filled me with such pride as doing this does. (Obviously this does not count my husband and my children who really are the best things that I have ever done) I am fulfilled for the first time in a long time as my own human and not because what I give of myself to other people. I am so proud of the work that I am doing and the team that I am a part of.
